I didn’t think I bought/received that much stuff in the past 8 weeks of being in Texas…but my bedroom tells a different story. As I stand there looking at the 3 bags that are already full, knowing I only have two big ones and 5 carry-ons left, I know there is NO way it will all fit. None of the clothes or shoes are packed. None of the art supplies that seem to keep growing in quantity are in bags. I have no idea where to begin, and when I try to start, I cry with frustration and sadness, so I leave. And when I leave, I usually end up at Target, and then the problem just gets bigger. ha! I just can’t. I don’t know how. And the rodeo is in town, so I think that is much better plan anyway 😉
Love. There are so many things in this life that we love, that I love. In the past six weeks, I have been challenged by the things and people that I love, by the God that I love. When I think about our impending return to a crowded, dirty city with little sunshine, my heart starts to race. It starts to hurt and I may begin to freak out a little bit and try to hold everything closer and tighter to my chest. I may cry easier and eat more lovely things made with sweet salted butter. I scream out to my Father and ask Him to keep me here. To just change His plans and His desires to match mine. Then, in a way only a loving Father can do, He turns my heart back to Himself. He directs my gaze into His face and takes my hands in His. He quietly tells me that I am His. That He has a plan and a purpose that far surpasses any good thing I can dream up on my own. I keep turning my face and glimpsing other things that aren’t of Him, and He continues to grab my face in both His hands and returns my eyes to His. It isn’t easy, this life of letting go. It isn’t easy, loving Him more than myself. None of this is easy, but y’all. He is worth it.