Time.

Our lives seem so dictated by time.  What time we get up, go to bed.  What time we eat.  The time we have to say what we need to say.  How much time we have to show the people we love that we love them.  It feels, sometimes, like the time passes too quickly or too slowly.  That everything is spinning out of control or that time is standing still.

I’m not sure what to say about the time we have spent in America for the past month.  It has gone fast, in a blur, at moments.  And it has crawled at other moments.  It has filled my heart with unspeakable gladness and left me brokenhearted.

We have seen dentists and optometrists and regular doctors.  We have enjoyed praising our Father in a corporate setting.  So much.  I have listened to my husband bring the Word with tears in my eyes, wondering why?.  I have spoken to a group of ladies about the calling He has placed on my heart and been renewed.  I have sat by and listened to my girls giggle with their best friends and run with a bounce in their step with no worries in their hearts.  I have taught math lessons and basked in the loveliness of that little light going off when they get it.  I have walked the aisles of Target with an empty basket because I can’t choose for all the choices.  I have drank full cups of whole milk every time I want to.  Sometimes with chocolate mixed in.  I have gone into Hobby Lobby and become so overwhelmed that I can’t bring myself to go back.  I have wandered through grocery stores in awe buying things I never ate when I lived here just because I could.  I have had at least 4 cups of coffee a day, of which I didn’t have to make any myself.  I have sat with my grandparents and learned bits of my family history that made tears well up in heart because I don’t have enough time to hear and learn it all.  I have gone house hunting with my mom and been reminded of how much I love having my own home.  I have eaten my favorite cookies made by the loving hands of my aunt just for me.  I sat on the most comfortable couch I think I’ve ever met and been teased by the biggest, burliest, maybe hairiest, uncle I have.  I have met brand new cousins.  I saw my aunt’s beautiful new home, hugged cousins I haven’t seen in years and ran my fingers over my uncle’s tattoo that declared his love for his bride of over 25 years.  I sat at my brother’s table filled with a niece and nephews and tried to play a game that no one knew the rules to.  I have hugged my mama every day and sat in my dad’s office hearing his heart.  I got a lesson on how to make gravy from my grandma when she saw what a miserable failure of a rioux maker I am.  I have sat with my best friend for hours pursuing Pinterest for things to bake, make, and tattoo on our bodies.  My time here has been full.  It has been good.  

And it’s only half over.  So thankful for these moments.

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