The house was still and silent, with no one needing anything because no one was here. My Father was beckoning me to His feet, so I went and rested there. The music was on, my eyes were closed, and I felt Him. It was one of those wondrous moments that I long for…that I wish would occur every time I worship Him, but they seem so few because of my own distractions and inability to truly focus. But today. Ohhh today, my heart was overflowing with His goodness. I got up, feeling as though I were floating on air to start the days chores. This house was going to be cleaned top to bottom with no one to interrupt or ask for something or make a mess after I just finished cleaning something. It was going to be magical.
As I was dusting my room, I came to my husband’s side table where I saw his journal. I had his permission to read it any time I wanted to, but it felt so private. Like I was invading on his thoughts and going somewhere that maybe I didn’t need to be. I cleaned around it and under it, and then sat back and pulled it into my lap. As the pages fell open, I felt it…
It felt like Satan had unleashed a league of demons to attack me.
My heart began to race, tears began to pour down my face, and my heart was filled with a nameless fear. The peace that just moments before I was reveling in, was shaken. It was fading fast and I had no idea what was happening. I began to pray and seek His peace and comfort. I began to ask out loud for Him to send his angels to fight this battle. I gritted my teeth and growled at the devil that he remove his demons now.
The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray. -Samuel Chadwick
This kept rolling through my mind, and I recalled the struggle I had in the past of establishing daily times of quiet, and my reasoning was always because the days that I made an effort, and got up early, or blocked out time, those were the days that were the worst days. Now I see with clarity the reason my days were bad. Satan was attacking me on all fronts because I was praying in earnest. Today was one of those days and if it took everything in me, the evil one would not prevail! My God is bigger. My God is MIGHTY. He moves mountains and the seas bow to Him…what is one little fallen angel to Him?
So I began to pray harder through the tears. When if felt like I was running a marathon and my heart would burst out of my chest and the fears would begin to overtake me, I would recite His promises and cry out to Him fervently to send His peace. To rest my heart and remove my fears. Songs began to fill my heart and move through my lips, then another attack would hit.
It was unlike anything I have ever experienced, but I knew exactly what it was…
As a follower of the Mighty One, I am waging war daily in everything I do. When I am closest to Him, the war’s intensity is increased. When I begin to share my heart, the opposition rises with newfound energy. But.
I John 4:4 says, “You, dear children, are from God, and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”
I serve a Mighty Father who is greater, stronger, and higher than any other. He has called me to battle and, you know what, the battle won’t be fair. The enemy will distract me, discourage me, scare me, and try to beat me down. But you know what else?
I am equipped for this war.
Be serious! Be alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. Resist him and be firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your fellow believers throughout the world.
1 Peter 5:8-9
I have been warned and it is now my job to be alert. Especially when his attacks are unexpected and come from angles that I never would have seen. The enemy isn’t stupid. He knows my fears and weaknesses, and he is cruel enough to exploit them. He is cunning and evil, and he steals joy. He steals the high moments when my feet are off the ground and I feel light and free and excited about my future in a land not my own. He lets the air out of my balloon and snickers as I feel the air slowly leaking out, and the despondency and old fears I thought were in the past resurface.
Then he shakes with rage and trembles in fear when I call out the name that is greater than all other names.
He pulls at his hair, stomps his feet, shakes his fists and watches, knowing he is powerless.
I am on the winning team.